Jasenovac - Sećanje preživelog logoraša

Abstract

Ovo pišem četrdeset godina nakon što sam sa grupom vinkovačkih Jevreja odveden u koncentracioni logor Jasenovac. Imao sam sedamnaest godina, bio sam mlad da bih u potpunosti shvatio težinu situacije u kojoj sam se nalazio. Pokušaću da rekonstruišem te crne dane iz sećanja na ono što sam doživeo i video. U zemaljskom paklu kada je svaki trenutak bio očekivanje smrti proveo sam skoro četiri godine. Gladan, žedan, izmučen, umoran i u stalnom strahu, to je bilo stanje u kome sam bio dugo vremena. Tako dugo nisam mogao zatvoriti oči, bio sam mokar, nesposoban da osušim ijedan deo odeće. Pola godine sam išao bosonog ili stopala umotanih u vreću, kroz sneg i blato, u užasnoj zimi 1941-42. Nemoguće je opisati sve događaje, jer je svaki sat bio događaj. Nakon rata mi se više puta dešavalo da su me ljudi gledali u neverici kada sam im pričao o strahotama pokolja u Jasenovcu i o ustašama. Nisu mogli verovati da se takve stvari zaista mogu dogoditi. Napisao sam ove redove za one koji su zaboravili ili ništa ne znaju o logorima Jasenovac i Stara Gradiška. Pišem u svoje ime, o svojoj muci, a ne o stvarima koje sam čuo od drugih. Čak i kada spominjem nekoga s kime sam delio dobro (!) loše, to je samo moj doživljaj. Proveo sam četrdeset osam meseci progona i ropstva, od čega četrdeset dva u Jasenovcu, a šest u logoru Stara Gradiška. Verovatno će neko ovo čitati sa nevericom i poreći mnoge stvari. Ista stvar dogodila se i meni nakon mog bekstva, kada sam počeo da govorim o jasenovačkim strahotama, mnogi nisu mogli da veruju u takve stvari. Želeo sam da ispunim obećanje koje sam dao sebi da se neću osvetiti nikome. To je bio deo mog zaveta: bez osvete. Želim samo pomoći ako mogu, a to i činim, jer gde će čovečanstvo završiti ako se svetimo? Ne želim da iko doživi ni trenutak jasenovačkog užasa.

I am writing this forty years after I was taken to the Jasenovac concentration camp with a group of Vinkovac Jews. I was seventeen, not old enough to realise in full the hardness of the situation I was in. I shall try to reconstruct those black days from the remembrance of what I have experienced and seen. I have spent almost four years in hell on earth when every moment was an expectation of death. Hungry, thirsty, bludgeoned, tired and in permanent fear, that was the condition I was in for a long time. For so long I could not close my eyes, I was drenched, unable to dry any part of my clothes. For half a year I was going barefoot or with feet wrapped in sackcloth, through snow and mud, in the horrible winter of 1941-42. Two more years after I had taken the cloth off it remained "imprinted" on my feet. It is impossible to describe all events, as every hour was an event. After the war, it happened to me many times that people were looking at me in disbelief when I was telling them about horrors of Jasenovac and Ustashi slaughtering. They could not believe that such things could really happen. I have written these lines for those who had forgotten, no matter for what reason, or knew nothing about the events in Jasenovac and Stara Gradiska camps. I am writing in my own name, about my hardship, not about the things I heard from others. Even when I mention someone I had shared good (!) of bad with, it is only in connection with myself. I had spent forty-eight months of persecution and slavery, forty-two of them in Jasenovac and six in Stara Gradiška camp. There will probably be some who will read this with disbelief and deny many things. The very same thing happened to me after my escape when I started talking about the Jasenovac horrors many could not believe such things possible. I wanted to fulfil the promise I have given to myself that I shall not avenge myself on anyone. It was a part of my vow: no revenge, to help if I can, and that is what I will do, because where will mankind end if we keep avenging? I do not wish upon anyone to experience even a moment of Jasenovac horror.